Keeping Wife/GF happy?
Guys/Gals, I need help, I've been playing WoW for 2+ yrs but recently wife got fed up and made me stop. It's been a month and I'm going nuts! I probably played too much, but I'm not one of those 10-20 hr day types. I'm hardcore casual, don't raid/run instances, mostly BG/arena, play the AH and prowl STV on my rouge in 15 to 30 min bursts, between RL tasks. I keep up a full time job, do my chores, make it to meals and regular bedtime, church, etc. My only hobby is WoW, no best friends (haven't had em since college) or passtimes. Don't drink, smoke, cuss, party and I bath regularly- I'm strictly a boring home body. What I'm looking for, besides ur smart arse replies, is any experience you've had keeping wife/GF happy. I've heard of raiders who negotiate one nite a week where they can play? Perhaps I could negotiate 2 hrs on week nites, and 4 hrs on Sat, with no WoW on Sunday? Getting my wife to play is not an option, she hates computers about as much as she hates computer games. One prob. is that my wife doesn't have any best friends/hobbies either :-( I'm trying to get her to join church choir, maybe I could play when she practices? So any ideas - I'm dying here without my WoW fix.
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Old 06-12-2007, 06:36 AM #2
Kasal Kasal is offline
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This is always a difficult type of question to give any kind of helpful opinion on, because it's almost impossible to get a real idea of what your situation is (despite the detail you've provided). But I'm seeing a lot of red flags in your post that really jump out at me:
1. "It's been a month and I'm going nuts"
2. "hardcore casual"
3. "my only hobby is WoW"
4. "I'm dying without my WoW fix"
I'm also not seeing anything in what you wrote that indicates you and she actually do anything together. You go on at some length about all the commitments you meet, but in none of them do I see where the two of you are involved in doing anything meaningful as a couple.
WoW, like any hobby, can be a very sneaky demon, pulling you away from the things that matter in life without your realizing it. Or, it can be something you gravitate toward to escape something else in your life that you wish to avoid. I would suggest you might have an addiction to the game (even weekend drinkers can be alcoholics, after all), or you're substituting WoW for a missing element in your relationship. The third possibility is that you have an even keel as you proclaim, and the problem is solely on her side.
These are only options to consider, and I'm throwing them out there with extreme caution. This is only what I'm reading into what you wrote. Others will follow me with their opinion, and you should carefully consider what they have to say as well. Taken together, you might be able to form an overall picture of what the situation truly is, your role in it, and what, if anything, you need to do to act upon it.
Good luck, and keep us posted.
Last edited by Kasal : 06-12-2007 at 06:39 AM.
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Old 06-12-2007, 06:38 AM #3
tralkar tralkar is offline
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well if you don't know how to keep her happy? can i come over and show you?
LOL J/K.... Why don't you play when shes not home?
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Old 06-12-2007, 07:51 AM #4
spadron spadron is online now
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Tell her to get her own hobby and stop the controlling behaviour?
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Old 06-12-2007, 10:35 AM #5
Marlous Marlous is offline
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I think Kasal is very right in his observations here. I think that the issue your wife has is not as much that you play the game, but that you play it while you should've been doing something together with her.
Perhaps you could suggest that you spend some more time together, and that you're free to have, say, one night a week to play your game. But be careful not to start negotiations with her, because it can (and knowing girls, it WILL) escalate. You don't want to be accused of spending time with her just so you can play your precious game again.
So, my advice is to try and talk with her about why she doesn't want you to play the game anymore. If you can find a compromise, then maybe she'll be more lenient.
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Old 06-12-2007, 10:52 AM #6
det det is offline
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Good observations by Kasal, I interpret your situation as he does. In that way it is down to your and your wife's character. I hate watching TV. My wife watches TV a lot. If it would boil down to a situation where she hates WoW so much that she tries to force you to rather watch TV with her, well...that is tough situation. Also you claim "regular bed times". I'd suggest to play when she goes to slepp, but again - if you are in a situation where she expects you to go to bed when she does, you have a grave situation at hand.
To me it sounds as if you will have to decide wether you will be bossed around by her or not. If WoW is your hobby and you two don't do anything together, and she has no hobbies (I read it this way), then in my opinion you have a right to your hobby.
How will you convince her? I have no idea? Discussions? Threats? Begging? Pleading? Is she the "ultimatum type?" Like "Wow or me"? Are you the type to fall for these?
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Old 06-12-2007, 11:51 AM #7
Kugan Kugan is offline
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Yep, it definitely sounds like you and your wife need to do something together. I had a similar problem with my fiancé (although he is a guy). He would complain that I’m spending too much time on WoW, where I usually angrily replied: “What do you want me to do? Watch sport on TV with you?”
Eventually I began to realise that that was not what he wanted me to do. He liked that I had a hobby, and that I gave him his space, but at the end it was too much space. He wanted to spend quality time with me.
So now we have one night in the week where we go out and do something (almost like we are dating again). This can range from Theatre to Movies to dinner at a nice restaurant. We take turns “treating” the other person.
He still complains from time to time, but instead of fighting with him I’ll switch of my computer and just sit with him for a while. It’s been much better.
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Old 06-12-2007, 11:55 AM #8
Zachariah Zachariah is offline
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I have a life that sounds very similar to yours, although my wife has yet to demand I stop playing wow - though this is clearly something she wants.
Like you, I lead an otherwise blameless life. I only play in the late evening after child has gone to bed, even on weekends. This makes raiding very difficult but I manage to see Kara a few times - few guilds will accept people who can't start before 9pm server time.
Wife hates WoW with a passion, but bears it because it's my only vice. She would never demand I stop it because I do not let it interfere with our life.
Ultimately it comes down to your relationship with your wife. If you believe she is a reasonable person with sound judgement, then you must have thought she was right to stop you playing Warcraft. If you stopped just because you couldn't stand her nagging anymore or you feared what she might do otherwise, then you must examine your reasons carefully.
It's a very difficult situation with no easy way out - you want to play WoW and she doesn't want you to. Only you can decide what you value more in your life.
Ask yourself this: Since you stopped playing, has she become happier and more content? If so then it's simple, Warcraft was genuinely affecting her and souring your relationship. If she still complains or is unhappy with other things you do, then she will never be content with your activities and you may as well go back to playing. Inform her that life can never be perfect and striving to make things so is a recipe for unhappiness...
(...an alchemy recipe, requires Alchemy 375, Philosophers Stone, 10 x Primal Might, 5 x Primal Nether, 20x adamantium frames...)
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Old 06-12-2007, 12:16 PM #9
Marlous Marlous is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zachariah View Post
striving to make things so is a recipe for unhappiness...
(...an alchemy recipe, requires Alchemy 375, Philosophers Stone, 10 x Primal Might, 5 x Primal Nether, 20x adamantium frames...)
Don't forget the 5 pieces of Nagveil.
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Old 06-12-2007, 01:15 PM #10
earindur earindur is offline
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sell your wife to a vendor and get a better one tbh :)